|
| *i truly believe tht its 90% who you're with and 10% where you're at. *i heart MAIP. especially my lil girlie crew of characters. *new york has been amazing because of them. *you really never stop meeting new people & learning new things. especially about yourself thru the eyes of someone else. * i'm constantly humbled by these people who are smarter, more interesting, funnier, and better than me. *college was a krazy experience. but just an experience. life does go on. and you do keep having fun. *you know tht you're gonna be good friends when you dont need alcohol to facilitate conversation. *college sleeping habits in the working world is dangerous. but i'm not willing to give it up. it's too much fun. *advertising is a funny industry. you have the power and resources to create culture and people's sense of value and self. but then you spend hours editting a presentation deck or see your team arguing about what car to use in the spot for half a conference call meeting. i'm like ... "forreals? is this how culture is really created?" *i think i like account planning. but they hire about 10 junior planners a year in the industry. lucky me. *i'm gonna be eating PB&J and white rice for the next 3 years of my life. *harlem is actually quite nice. just dont be dumb. *it's hard to find time to exercise/ball when you're working M-F, 9-6 and chillen M-F, 6-12. *if you learn anything in college, learn to be articulate. *new york strangers are nicer than philly strangers. *the two things that you should never fight about with real friends ... time & money. *i miss my philly homies. i've been so bad keeping in touch. its hard to settle down for a phonecall when you're always on the go and with people. new york is full of people always on the go. also tmobile sucks big butt. | | |
| College is about learning how to trust your intermost feelings, and how to find those feelings in the first place. College is about learning how to treat people as people, not as stereotypes. It's about learning that people probably like you a whole lot more than they'll ever tell you and that it's your responsibility to make sure your friends know how much you appreciate them. College is about learning, learning how to live. Celebrate who you have become. | | |
| 
preach it, calvin.
| | |
| *last semester of Penn!*
| Mon |
Tues |
Wed |
Thur |
Fri |
Wachovia
9am-3pm |
Chinese Classical Thought
12-1:30pm
|
Wachovia
10am-5pm |
Chinese Classical Thought
12-1:30pm |
Wachovia CMD
1-4pm
|
|
Land of Pharaohs
3-4:30pm
|
|
Land of Pharaohs
3-4:30pm |
|
Ritual Comm
5-8pm
|
Internship Class
4:30-6:30
|
Suns practice
6-9pm
|
|
|
intramural ball
9:15
|
Club practice
6:30-8pm
|
|
|
|
4 classes and an internship (and workin games on weekends and nights). not bad. i decided to drop one really reading-intensive class so i can actually enjoy my last semester in college. the nerd in me feels kinda guilty but i do want to savor the time i have left at penn. this semester isn't really about partying for me. all my out-of-college friends showed me tht the partying definitely does not end at graduation. but formal learning does and i want to get as much as the collegiate academic experience as i can. so i'm gonna immerse myself into my classes. i like all of them. it's a good variety and my professors really know their shit.
i want to do so much! these past yrs i've been trying to have THE college experience (like my sorority experiment). but i've realized tht there is no one typical experience and i'm trying to stop thinking in tht frame of mind. penn has been amazing. but i dont have a crew here. many friends that come close but no crew like i feel i have in philly. which i have to be okay with. because everything and everybody still counts. my penn friends are awesome, just in a different way. it's not easy to have the complete penn experience if you're a philly girl. the two worlds are just too close. and who said tht there is one way to experience penn. i'm lucky tht i got a few philly ppl like me on campus to keep it in perspective for me or i'd be washed away by the waspy peer pressure. it hasn't been easy ... as my ritual communication professor said ... "college is like a 4 year hazing ritual" ... they build you up just to bring you back down and then build you up again. you make decisions and you live the consequences. i cant say i don't have regrets .. i just dont regret my regrets.
wht a ride ... and its not over yet =]
*Last Semester .... Drumroll please!!*
- working wings, phantoms, flyers, and sixers games : even tho they are exhausting.
- restaurant week dinners.
- perfomance art shows : african rhythms, dhamaka, dh2, excelano, strictly funk, pennyo, vagina monologues, barrio, off the beat.
- senior feb club : gonna be intense ... and expensive.
- ecaasu?
- basketball tournaments
- spring break in Puerto Plata, DR - villa! omg i have to get back into bikini shape.
- spring fling madness
- hey day dirtyness - the best food fight you'll ever have with 2000 people.
- 23rd birthday O.o! : lets go horseyback riding!
- senior week : penn spoils us.
- graduation : i beat mui by 2 days!
- kristine's graduation : first-generation graduates!
- nationals @ arizona
*music video of superstar phil wan, lee ho, khai, and duy ..... P'SYNC!*
they make my tummy hurt =]
| | |
| so 2007 is finally here. i wasn't looking forward to it though. i wished so hard tht it wouldn't come, tht i wouldnt be graduating in 5 months and be forced to become a real adult. i haven't evolved enough yet. and five more months is barely going to help. its gonna be a scary year.
this past year was eye-opening. i felt things i never felt before. liberated and pigeonholed at the same time.
i dont believe in new years resolutions. billions of ppl making lists tht they expect not to follow. just bullet points to show themselves that they at least know wht to improve, abandoned before the month is even over. i make lists everyday. this one shouldnt be any more special. but i do believe in reflection. thts how you improve. not by just dreaming of wht may be. but remembering wht you did and seeing if thts who you want to be.
i've known for a while how sensitive i am. how easy other ppl's words, actions, and assumptions can make me react. i'm thick-skinned but i'm not tough. i wear my heart on my sleeve. and it showed a lot this this yr. a look, a comment, an insult. and i'm down for days. and though i've known tht i never forget when somebody does me wrong, i didnt realize its magnitude until this past year. i forgive but i never forget. never. i guess thts wht you call holding grudges. i choose not to show it cuz a lot of times it's not worth it. plus sometimes its not the direct fault of tht person. things hold different meanings for everybody. wht you thought was a joke, i find hurtful. and wht you thought was a compliment, i find insulting. but more times than not, it is the fault of tht person. and you have to chuck it up to their stupidity and move on. it just aint worth it.
its not how you act, but how you react tht matters. so i guess wht i want to do is to start getting rid of the trash around me. trash sounds harsh so maybe clutter is better word. there's just too much clutter ppl dirtying my life and sometimes my morals. i'm not sayin tht these ppl are bad inside but they're not for me. which is okay because i'm sure i'm not for everybody either. i believe tht you have to stick with ppl to find their true value. everybody has a front, a wall tht they put up to protect themselves from strangers. and i'm glad tht i stuck with some people. wht turned out to be just another face is now a person i care about. but a lot of time it's a waste of time, effort and brain cells. some ppl just aren't worth it. they'll continue to be two-faced to appease ppl, continue to say dumbshit for attention, and continue to lie to look better. i dont need tht trash in my life. but i cant get rid of it completely so i'm just gonna do my best to make sure tht its no where near me.
you are wht you eat and you are who you're friends with. i dont need genuises or goody two-shoes to be my friends. i like my friends with their flaws and scars. but i need ppl who will treat me as more than just another girl. i hang out with too many guys to be blind to the fact tht they do see most girls as shallow drama queens or golddigging bitches. and to their credit, most of the time it's warranted. its a reason why i dont have tht many girls as close friends. but to the credit of girls, most of the guys i hang out with are quality guys. i didnt chose to like bball this much. its just the way it is. when i find quality anybody, i hang onto them. but i know tht i'm a horrible judge of character when i first meet a person. so i stay quiet and let them reveal themselves through their actions. i want to keep an open-mind so i keep my mouth silent. but i dont need friends who want me for social connections, to brag to, or to complain to. i need ppl who wants to hang out with me because its fun when we do, will keep my private things private, and who cares when i get an elbow fracture or just had a bad day.
one way tht i know how to make my life cleaner is to stop trying to be santa claus. thts wht my family calls it. i keep trying to do all these lil things to make ppl smile and feel happy for two seconds. but so much work goes behind those two seconds, which most ppl won't even remember the next day. i do it because i know how good that feeling is. but more and more, i'm seeing how it's not worth it again. maybe this is me growing up and becoming wht they call jaded. but i'm tired of my mom asking me wht i'm doin, buying, or making certain things for and having her then ask me wht have i gotten from tht person in return. because usually it's nothing. and then she shakes her head at me and tells me to stop being stupid. sometimes i feel tht she's being too oldskool but more and more, i'm feeling dumb too. i plan so many things and i give out so many lil presents and even though i get my own satisfaction of seeing someone be genuinely surprised or having fun, its getting harder to justify. but then i know thts it the small things tht matter in life. its the small things tht show tht ppl actually care.
and sometimes its the bigger things. i still remember my 21st birthday. i wanted to plan something for kristine but having the same birthday, tht would just be advertising for myself too so i didnt. if we didn't have the same birthdays, there is no doubt tht i would be planning things left and right just cuz thts wht i do. but for tht supposedly big birthday, its where i realized how you can never tell who cares and who doesnt. my lady suns surprised me with a cake at practice. and friends from temple tht i just met a few months ago organized a dinner for us complete with cake, cards, and presents. but the other two group of friends tht i thought were really close did nothing. of course there were the words "happy birthday", some with empty promises of dinner later or something like tht, but there were also "happy birthdays" tht were texted days late with explanations tht it was our fault tht we didnt remind them. thts not something i would do. and tht definitely changed a lot of things. but i learned a really valuable saying this past yr tht helped me deal with tht emotion. "it is wht it is."
its hard to know how much and who to care about. if friends are your safety net, then wouldnt you want it to be a strong one with no holes. 2006 was prolly the year with my most exhilarating personal ups & sudden downs and 2007 will be much more scarier no doubt. but i'm tucking my heart in my sleeve and i'm as ready as i can be.
| | |
|
